tomorrow?

Am I really leaving tomorrow?  As I sit here trying to cram in all that I'll need for two years, without going over the weight, I am having very mixed feelings.  I've gone from excitement, to scared as hell, to realizing that I'm about to live out my dream, to what-the-hell-am-I-thinking?!, to sadness, and all the way back again.  This is by far going to be the greatest adventure of my life, and most of me cannot wait for it to begin.  I have dreamed about living in Africa since I was young and now I'm doing it.  Four days from now I will land in Lusaka, Zambia and begin living out my dream.  I cannot wait to get my hands on some beautiful babies and to see what I'm sure are going to be some of the most spectacular views I have ever seen.  Yet I know that in the midst of the excitement and joy, my heart will experience excruciating ache.  I am going to miss friends and family like I never have before and I know that I will have moments of wishing I was back with you all.  But I also know that it is in those moments that God will meet me in my heartache and bring me comfort and be quick to show me the joy surrounding me.  So as I push forward in the struggle to pack my bags, my heart is joyful, excited, sad and all-together confused.  But I'm going to take each emotion and ride it out as this incredible journey begins!