The day I anticipated being the worst, was actually the best day back in MI so far. Christmas morning started out perfect with Aidan sleeping in (which is a first) and presents not even starting until almost 9:00. We all took our time with each gift and then sat around the table eating the annual pancake breakfast. The rest of the day was spent napping (which seldom happens with me) going to see "We Bought a Zoo", and spending the last of the night down the street with family number 2. All-in-all, it was a perfect, low-key, relaxing day. It was great to spend it with my family, and the best part was my mood. I thouht that I would be sad all day thinking about spending the next two Christmas' away from family, but every Africa thought I had was one of excitement. Any time I pictured Africa it was followed quickly with a smile. I was excited about the great adventure that awaits me.
The two days, however, were another story. Monday wasn't bad. I finally got to see Trish and spend time looking forward to our futures and laughing as we looked through our past. I took Jack for a really nice walk down some trails in the unseasonably warm weather (45!), and relaxed with Mom. Tuesday was started out fine as I made cookies, cleaned and spent 5 hours in a comfy chair reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns". But then I got board. I realized I had nothing to do, and nobody to do it with. None of my friends had called to get together and so I was left alone with my thoughts. Now understand that I have been SOOOO incredibly busy the last 4 months straight and so to be a point where I don't have anything to do, is hard. I like to always have something to do, places to be, and people to see. But last night this was not the case. So what did I do? I started to panic. I started to play the "what-if" game about Africa and doubt my decision to go. And que the best friends. Thanks goodness for all 3 of them. For Brynne making plans with me to spend the weekend with her, for Sara telling me I can come home at any point but that I at least have to try, and Trish for letting me freak out just long enough before she told me ever so gently to suck it up and enjoy my family while I'm here with them. I don't know what I would do without those 3. They really are the glue that holds me together when I begin to fall apart.
Today was good. Shopping and a day with mom. Get together with family friends and of course another round of Apples to Apples with the Tori's, mom and the boys. Helpful phone call with dad. So although I may have my moments of panic and feel like the world is caving in, I thankfully have wonderful friends and family around me to keep me grounded and remind me of this amazing thing I'm doing. I'm living out my dream. The biggest dream I've had thus far. To go back to Africa. To live there. To make an impact. To make a difference. To love on kids. To be the change I wish to see in the world.
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