The Game

I know the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" is highly overused, but tonight it's how I feel.  I honestly and whole-heartedly love my life right now, but this dating game sucks.  Sure it's fun and exciting at times, but knowing how it will inevitably end in a majority of cases makes the game seem less and less appealing.  I love the first jitters and nervous laughter and late nights with the girls talking about what he said and how he said it and analyzing every last detail.  But then the excitment dies down.  And then, there's the moving on.  Realizing it isn't working and having to start over.  Ugh.  It's jsut so much work.  And yea, some day one of those first moments of excitment will end up being forever excitement.  I realize that I've finally found the one who will excitement each and every day.  But now, right in this moment, it seems a far way off.  And I guess I'm okay with that.  The thought of marriage scares the crap out of me anyways.  I mean, really, we commit to spending the rest of our lives, our each and every day with one person.  And we do this willingly, thinking with our best intentions that this is the person we will like each and every day for the rest of our lives.  But what if we don't really like them 10 years in? Or they experience something and become someone different, not even bad, just different?  Although I guess the same could be said for them experiencing something that changes them and makes me fall even more in love with them.  And heck, I don't even know who I am yet or who I'm going to be.  So for now, bring on the games.  Bring on the excitement, bring on awkwardness, bring on the laughter, bring on the tears, and bring on the ride of it all.  It'll have it's ups and it'll have it's downs, but regadless, I'm sure it's one hell of a ride.